★★★★★ 5
Distilled truth
I read Danny's quotes from this book on Facebook for maybe a couple of weeks before I realized it was his new book. Of course I had to order it immediately. My life was forever changed after my first encounter with Danny's teaching at a conference ten years ago where I purchased "Directing Vision Daily," (now updated and called "Loving Our Kids On Purpose"). I learned about self-control and it affected every relationship in my life, not just the training of my toddler (now the oldest of four and headed into middle school).
Danny has such a powerful message. I call it distilled truth.
After a really tough year, moving across country, returning full-time to the workforce after eleven years as a stay-at-home mom, children having issues in school and needing more support, and much more, I found myself very disconnected from my husband and miserable. I watched a You-Tube video where Danny said something that went straight to my heart and I puzzled over it for days, "every relationship has one of two goals: connection or disconnection." I realized that at some point over the past year I switched from the goal of connection to that of disconnection. I knew I should want to be connected, but I did not. After fifteen years of marriage and so many conversations about the same topics and still not being understood, I found myself once again in the place of wanting to give up.
The book took a couple weeks to come in the mail, but I read it in two days, hungry for a solution to the problem for which I now had a label: the goal of disconnection. We read Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages" about 13 years ago, so that part was not new to me, but Danny's summary of the acts of service love language (many other points too) felt like he was reading my mail. After thinking on all that I had read for a couple more days, I arranged to spend an evening with my husband alone. We were able to have a much needed talk that has put us on a path to reconnecting.
By this point in my life and my marriage, I realize this is a journey that will inevitably entail future obstacles. This book has given me yet another tool, one that takes me back to the foundation. The key to keeping my love on is exercising my self-control and behaving as the powerful person I am, not waiting for someone else to rescue me from my misery. Thank you, Danny. I needed that.
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Reviewed in the United States on June 10, 2013
